Tuesday, September 30, 2008

New times, new words

Times change, sometimes so fast that language can't keep up. We need new words appropriate for the new circumstances. Here's a start. Please send your contributions. Prurient or scatological words will be accepted only if I really, really like them. I will update this list if I feel like it:

New word: mortcrap
Usage: John Dillinger III murdered his broker Monday after discovering that his huge investment in mortgage-based securities had morphed into mortcrap.

New word: palinizing
Usage: NBC took palinizing to a new level on Thursday, reporting that Sarah Palin's 21-year-old son once violated the lowest standards of human behavior by putting an earthworm on a fishhook and throwing the line into the water, injuring the worm and arousing outrage throughout Alaska.

New Word: idiotocracy
Usage: The preening journalists and deranged politicians who supported the failed mortcrap bailout bill will henceforth be known as the idiotocracy.

New word: republicrat
Bill Clinton continued to formally support Barack Obama Monday while surreptitously working with Republicans on a republicrat alliance that he hopes will sink Obama and alllow Hillary to run again in 2012.

New word: panickypol
Usage: Any politician who tries to scare others into supporting his outlandish, antiamerican proposal, using visions of market crashes and even doomsday, will be known as a panickypol.

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