Friday, January 23, 2009

The terrorists would look pretty in pink

The panicky pols are again in a lather, this time over where to put a few hundred suicidal maniacs once their current group home, at Guantanamo Bay, is closed for violating President Obama's terrorism etiquette.

Besides a swarthy, Arabic complexion, these men have one common denominator: they are willing to die if they can only take some us along for the ride. Needless to say, their hatred of America arouses sympathy among liberals.

So, in true liberal fashion, President Obama has ordered that Guantanamo be closed within one year, without having first determined what to do with the killers-in-waiting.

The answer is hiding in plain sight.

Turn the prisoners over to Sheriff Joseph Arpaio of Maricopa County, AZ, where they could get in touch with their softer side by wearing pink clothing and answering to female guards.

It's easy to see that Arpaio, 76, is on the right track: he has been denounced by Amnesty International, the American Civil Liberties Union, the Arizona Ecumenical Council, the American Jewish Committee, and the Arizona chapter of the Anti-Defamation League.

An Army veteran, Arpaio was first elected shriff in 1992, and has won reelection four times. He resurrected chain gangs, serves inmates surplus food and prohibits sexually eplicit material. His jailhouse radio station serves up classical music, opera, Frank Sinatra hits, patriotic music and educational programming.

For years, Arpaio has operated a tent city to house some inmates. When they complained about the heat, Arpaio replied, "It's 120 degrees in Iraq and the soldiers are living in tents and they didn't commit any crimes, so shut your mouths."

But he, too, has a softer side. He allowed the inmates to strip down to their pink underwear.

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