A satirical look at high times in Kabul, Afghanistan

Executives of a private contractor hired to protect the U.S. Embassy in Kabul, Afghanistan, marveled Friday at the glut of applications it has received since unleashing a bold recruitment strategy the day before.

Unable to replace guards who have fled Afghanistan to avoid injury or death in terrorist attacks, the contractor leaked a bogus story to American news outlets.

The story maintained that the contractor not only tolerated, but required, that guards drink heavily, smoke pot, emgage in sex acts. and use drugs while on duty at the embassy. The purpose was to end a long drought in applications. Not one person had applied for duty in Kabul for two years.

Shortly after the story hit the streets, the contractor's telephone started ringing. Faxes streamed in nonstop. Soldiers waiting for outbound flights to the U.S., where they were scheduled for discharge, changed their minds and lined up at the contractor's door in Kabul.

What do they think they have to look foreward to? Naked pool parties. Performance of sex acts while on duty as evidence they are ready for promotion. Bear in mind that these activities came to light because previous guards had complained about them. That should have been a tipoff.

One of the new applicants, asked why he had applied, said, "Listen, a few days ago I was pumping gas in East Skokie, and I hadn't had a date in six weeks. Sex. drugs and videotape didn't look so bad."

One of those who blew the whistle told ABC News that supervisors not only were aware of the "deviant sexual acts" but helped to organize them.

"It was mostly the young guys fresh from the military who were told they had to participate," said the guard. "They were not gay but they knew what it took to get promoted."

The State Department said it was investigating the allegations and the circumstances surrounding the photographs, which show naked and barely clothed men fondling one another. The guard said the drunken parties had been held regularly for at least a year and a half.

A year and a half in Kabul can seem like a long time.