Monday, October 26, 2009

A satirical look at the current success, challenges, and future prospects of Fox News

Fox News Chairman Rupert Murdoch revealed Monday that he is putting the finishing touches on a progressive nuclear option that he may deploy against the hostile Obama administration and its allies in the receding media.

In essence, his strategy rests on growing reliance on his most effective troops, the gorgeous and curvaceous blondes who look boldly into Fox cameras smf deliver the news with the clarity and simplicity of Dirty Harry. The formula grabs the attention of most men, and not a few women, resulting in Fox's dominance of television news.

Fox's conservative perspective has led to numerous critical reports on the leftist Obama administration, however, and the president has taken swipes at Fox.

If the sniping doesn't stop, Murdoch said, he willl take the following steps.

First, he will arrange for his blonde foot soldiers to raise their hemlines by one inch every week as long as the conflict persists. Bust llines will grow by one-half inch a week.

Ultimately, Bikinis are not out of the question.

Lipstick tones will become more bold. Words and phrases will grow more provocative. New blonde foot soldiers will take the stage on a regular basis.

"You will know that Fox has won," Murdoch said, when Bill Clinton admits that he never misses a Fox News broadcast."

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