Animal rights still on White House's back burner, but muslims spell out rules for bestiality

 On Saturday, September 12, 2009, I blogged as follows:

"Navigating the brave new world of animal rights - a primer and preview of things to come"

"In its relentless effort to harness every individual and creature in America to its own designs, the Obama administration now threatens, perhaps unwittingly, to light up a dark corner that many don't even know exists.

The lonely farmhand is about to have his unwanted moment in the sunshine.

Until now, the lonely farmhand has been glimpsed only rarely, usually in a buried item in a rural weekly or small daily newspaper. Reporters don't like to write the stories, and editors don't like to publish them, so the notices tend to be short and well buried:

'The sherifff's office has charged a 45-year old farm hand with lewd and laschivious conduct after another farmer complained that his goat had been abused.'

Sometimes the victim is a sheep, or even a cow. Whatever the case, the victim has never had a highly trained support group so the indelicate occurrence has quickly disappeared from public view.

Now, that is likely to change.

A colleague of President Obama, Cass Sunstein, is the new head of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs (OIRA), and has been confirmed by the Senate.

What is at issue here is Sunstein's forceful advocacy of animal rights, especially his recommendation that people should be enabled to file suit on behalf of animals that have been mistreated. His objective is to ameliorate some of the worst cruelties inflicted on amimals that are bred and processed for food.

In 2002, Sunstein traced the idea of animal rights to 18th Century economist and social reformer Jeremy Bentham, who likened animals to slaves and argued that an adult dog or a horse is more rational than a human infant and should therefore be granted similar rights.

In 1789, a time when France had freed its slaves but England still held its slaves captive, Bentham wrote a primer in which he stated, "The day may come, when the rest of the animal creation may acquire those rights which never could have been withholden from them but by the hand of tyranny. The French have already discovered that the blackness of the skin is no reason why a human being should be abandoned without redress to the caprice of a tormentor."

While I am not philosophically opposed to limited animal rights, I do foresee some difficulties.

Until now, odd matings between man and beast have been rare and little noted. That's as it should be. What would happen if bestiality became a frequent subject of courtroom proceedings? If the past is prologue, books will be written and movies made about the practice? Would bestiality then work its way into the American mainstream and become commonplace? Does anyone think that would be a good thing?

The mere thought of the first bestiality reality show on television makes me shudder.

Not to mention the fainting goats, which add another dimension to the problem. The ordinary goat is a tough, sturdy, stubborn creature. A farmer who wants to move a goat ordinarily carries a two-by-four in his hand.

Would the two-by-fours have to be coated with a soft material so as not to offend the faint-hearted?

Unlike ordinary goats, fainting goats are sensitive creatures who are known for only one thing - fainting. If you surprise the goat in any way, it faints. If you startle the goat it faints. If you look cross-eyed at the goat, it might faint.

Can you imagine the hay a trial lawyer could make if he had a fainting goat as a client? You give the goat an angry glance, the goat faints, and you spend the next two years in court defending yourself. The judge, having just navigated animal sensitivity training, fines you the entire wad you were planning to spend to set up a new meat processing plant.

In desperation, you borrow enough money to buy two fainting goats, then hire a trial lawyer. Within a year, you're a millionaire.

That was then, as they say, and this is now.

From Jawa Report comes the news:

"Camel: It's the Other Other White Meat"

"Alternative title: Camels, they're not just for screwing any more:"

"Muslims across the country are licking their lips at the thought of utilising a resource that has been overlooked for decades, but was once used to pioneer central Australia.

An abattoir near Alice Springs is on the verge of signing a contract to supply at least 10 per cent of Australia's Muslim population with halal camel meat....

Pending certification, it's a plan that has the full support of Imam Kafrawi Hamzah from the Alice Springs Mosque.

"Eating camel meat has become popular now," he told AAP.

He said interest in the product would grow even further once halal camel meat was readily available for purchase nationally.

“A man can have sex with animals such as sheeps, cows, camels and so on. However, he should kill the animal after he has his orgasm. He should not sell the meat to the people in his own village; however, selling the meat to the next door village should be fine.”

“If one commits the act of sodomy with a cow, an ewe, or a camel, their urine and their excrements become impure, and even their milk may no longer be consumed. The animal must then be killed and as quickly as possible and burned.”

Imagine that. We don't even have animal rights yet, but we do have rules for sex with animals.