Gallup has found that senior citizens, aged 65 and older, are the most skeptical about Obamacare. By a margin of three to one, seniors tend to think the scheme is more likely to reduce their access to medical care, rather than expand it.
I accept the result, but am skeptical about the explanation.
The real reason seniors don't want Obamacare, I suspect, is the thought of having to submit to end of life counseling every five years. This is how I imagine that would go:
A pale, wan 30-something approaches, tells me I look a little tired and asks for a rundown on my life-threatening ailments. I tell him I have none, that my life and limbs are at risk only when I play hockey, ski downhill in the mountains, or go canoeing in the wilderness.
He asks me if I ever get winded.
"Yeah," I say. "I got winded last night. I went roller-blading on the trails, met a nice woman and got laid. Then I came home, watched some cage fighting, had a few martinis, made dinner and walked the dog. I was ready for bed, but instead I went out for a quick one-mile jog, and came home refreshed."
Do you ever feel dizzy?
"Only when I mistakenly double up on the vodka."
How are your reflexes?
"My reflexes were slowing down a bit until Obama got elected. Now, I reach for the clicker as soon as I see his face on the tv. My goal is to click him away before he gets out his first word, and I usually succeed. My reflexes have improved markedly since he's been in the White House."
How long do you hope to live?
"Well, my ancestors were living to their late 80s a hundred years ago, and I lost an aunt at 98 a few years ago. My chances of reaching 100 are pretty good. I'd have settled for that until you people came along."
"Now, I'm going for 120, and if you come for me before I'm ready, bear in mind that I have guns and know how to shoot."
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