Saturday, July 25, 2009

A satirical peek at the potential of Obamacare

Al Gore on Saturday said the outlook for his global warming venture, which has made him richer and more famous, is not encouraging. He hinted that he might put the issue to death rather than watch it wither and die over decades.

"President Obama has opened new doors with his courageous campaign to overhaul our health care system," Gore said. "Look, he's calling for end-of-life counseling for old people. Everybody knows that the next step is to cut off medical treatment for those whose time has come and gone."

"I'm just applying the same test to a political issue, global warming."

"Besides, I don't have time for global warming any more. I have a new venture, Paradise Starts Here. Each franchise will be a miniature strip mall. The first stop will be a doctor's office where an MD will check the new patient's vital signs, take blood and urine samples, and do a medical history."

"The doctor will be looking for a compelling reason why this patient should continue to consume limited medical resources. Finding none, he will pass the patient on to the next step. Even if he were to find such a reason it wouldn't matter because there will be only one exit from the doctor's office. It leads to a psychologist, who will work up a report on the patient's state of mind."

"There, too, the findings don't matter much because there will be only one exit from the psychologist's office, which leads to a small office where a minister, rabbi or priest prays with the patient and asks God to forgive his sins. A nurse then administers the lethal shot."

"As in the previous steps there is only one exit, which leads to the crematorium."

"Now, I ask you, how's that for efficiency? I think I can keep the price for the entire exit under $1,000."

"Think of the savings, given the cost of medical treatment for old people, along with the reality that they really don't have that much to live for."

"Down the line we'll probably get to younger people who have incurable diseases. Maybe we'll even get to Republicans. Heh heh. That was a joke."

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