Sunday, May 16, 2010

A justice who can grind it out and then hand out free tampons...yeah, that's just what this supreme court needs

What to do when your nominee to the Supreme Court has no experience on the bench, filed an amicus brief that got blown out of the water, worked a skimpy two years in the private sector, treated members of the military as second-class citizens, and penned only a limited number of “scholarly” articles?

Naturally, you talk about all the free tampons she distributed while at Harvard. If only I were kidding. It turns out that Kagan’s résumé is so threadbare that Team Obama is floating a myriad of pathetic talking points to pad its candidate’s “qualifications.”

See for yourself.

1. The baller. Not only are we told that she’s “ambitious, restless, [and] intellectually acute,” but, as Politico noted, she “even shares the president’s love of a good, grinding pick-up basketball game.” Say what? She enjoys a “grinding pick-up basketball game”? Well now, that settles it then. Bust out the basketball trunks, throw on a jersey, and move yourself straight to the front of the line for a lifetime position on the most powerful court in the world! What could go wrong? As an aside, can you even imagine Kagan “grinding” on the court?

3. Feminine products. At Harvard, Kagan gained popularity by offering “free coffee outside classrooms and free tampons in the women’s restrooms.” Surely, these were exactly the type of qualities Thomas Jefferson sought when picking a justice.

9. Good news: Kagan ain’t deaf. Television legal analyst Lis Wiehl gushed that the Supreme Court nominee ran Harvard Law with “grace” and is an “avid listener.”

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