Bids stranded at the buzzer

Friday's House vote on the bailout bill stopped the auction and left a lot of bids unprocessed. Here are some of those failed bids:

Arnold Schwarzenegger, $10 million: He wanted to be impeached so he doesn't have to be governor of California any more. Resignation would have wrecked his Hollywood image. Impeachment would have spiffed it up.

Bill Clinton, $10 million. He had another list of people he wanted pardoned but isn't president any more so he needwd a waiver. For some reason, Hillary was on the new list.

Sarah Palin, $1,500: Having dealt with the dregs of American politics in Washington, she wanted to relinquish her vice=presidential nomination and go back to Alaska.

Todd Palin, $1,500: He had a list of 50 Washington politicians and 75 Washington jouralists he wanted to punch in the nose, and wanted a prepunch pardon.

Barney Frank, $7,500: He wanted to be named permanent U.S. ambassador to Madagascar, where, under a new name, he would be beyond the reach of Bill O'Reilly.

Jeffrey Immelt, chairman of General Electric, $8 million: He wanted to submit a bill compelling a publisher to print and distribute his new book, "Goddam It, I Just Can't Play This Game."

Although these bids remained unprocessed at the buzzer, they may become grist for another auction because House members had so much fun at the first one.